Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Motivation for Change!

So I guess it's time for me to admit it..... Time to suck it up and go public.... The truth is I need some help - so rather than keeping it a secret - here it goes!!! I joined weight watchers in the middle to end of February. Yes I did - and I'm so glad I did. I know you're thinking "she's trying yet another diet, blah blah blah" but this time is different - hopefully! I know the first thing people want to know is how much have I lost. Well let me tell you that depends on what day you're asking - actually, what week. Here's the problem - I've lost 28.8 pounds. Great right?! Right - except that then I keep gaining 2 1/2 pounds so my weight loss keeps fluctuating. I keep gaining and re-losing the same 3 pounds and I'm really frustrated by it. And I have a theory.... I know, me and my lame theories.

Every time i start a new weight loss program I think "this is it, the one that's going to work for me!" And approximatelyl 25 pounds later I think I'm doing well - fall off the bandwagon for a little and it's all downhill from there! I gain back those 25 and then some. Why do I do that? Because I'm dumb... That's not my theory. My theory is I like to sabatoge things in my life. Things start to go well and I think- gosh this is going really well, I wonder how i could screw it up?! And I always find a great way to do it! Not just in my weight loss efforts - but in my friendships - relationships - and other ships.... Okay maybe that's an exaggeration. The thing is that I think I was so excited about weight watchers and the first week I lost an astonishing 10 pounds and then the next week I lost 0.4 - who knew you could lose 0.4 pounds. Anyway - I think I'm just discouraged because even with the 25 that I've lost and kept off - I'm not really seeing any changes in my body. Sure I bought one size smaller pants - but the thing is - they're still big pants - and you'd think after 25 pounds you should get more than one size smaller. I guess when you have a lot to lose it takes longer to see it in yourself and for others to notice it too. Who even knows.

I think I'm just stuck in a rut. Afterall, how many times have I lost 25 pounds and then regained them? Too many to count! So it's like 25 isn't a big deal for me - even though that's a huge accomplishment! So - I did something drastic. Lots of my clients have token systems or sticker charts to help motivate them. Whenever they participate in a desired behavior they get a sticker or a token, and so many of those tokens will buy them exciting things like a new puzzle, or a new video game. Well, since puzzles and video games don't really motivate me - I went extreme! A new purse! Not just any purse - a fabulous new pink coach purse! It is SO cute! Plus, I found it on ebay - brand new with the tags and everything - and I got a killer deal on it. Then I did something Crazy and unlike me! I gave it to my friend! No not forever - don't worry! It is my motivation! I am just a couple of pounds away from my 10% weight loss goal - and that is a HUGE deal to me - I hope. So my friend is holding my purse ransom until I get my 10% key chain at the WW meeting. I want that purse SO bad! I love my blue coach purse - but it's time to move on to a pinker purse! So I'm trying hard to earn it! Hopefully it will be two or three weeks and I'll be sporting my new pink coach purse... afterall, I have to lose that pound I put on last week!!! It sucks that I like food so much!

In other small tidbits of information - I got an email from my sister today. She had her first baptism on Friday and it sounded AMAZING! The guy is paralyzeed and so the baptism involved 4 elders, one stretcher, 2 ambulances, and a really big font! It's such a great story! I'll share it with whoever wants to hear - it's just too special to put on my blog... So maybe we'll chat and I'll tell you the story. And look for me sporting the new Pink Coach Purse!!! She's a beaut... I think she needs a name.... Penny maybe.... nah, not Penny.... any suggestions are welcome.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

A quick year!

I can't sleep. It's about 12:30 and i'm usually LONG asleep. But this weekend has been hard on me emotionally.... And it's so stupid why!

This weekend happened to be the year mark of when D met the family. Now, normally this isn't a big deal because I've taken plenty of guys home to meet the fam. The funny part is that typically within 2 weeks of meeting the family we break up. So I know if I want to end things with someone all I have to do is take them home. What does that say about my family??? Another topic for another day. Anyway, so this weekend was the one year mark of that fateful activity - that turned out so great!

It wasn't hard to pass the day we met, or the first date, or the first kiss.... none of that. But the first time he met the family was a little rough on me, I'm not gonna lie. The thing is, I'm not really sure why. I mean, I haven't really thought about him since the final text - and I was really okay with it. But all day and all night Saturday that's all I could think about and it was pissing me off! It still is!

I had great plans to delete D from my friend list on facebook. You know, I deleted him from my phonebook right away so I couldn't be tempted to text him again. And I was going to take him off my friend list on facebook -but I hadn't been on it until earlier tonight... and I just couldn't do it. Maybe I need someone to do it for me!

I feel so lame! I'm not usually this stupid. Afterall, it's just a boy!!! Yes, it is a boy that I really liked and could see a future with... but it's never going to happen.... how do I move past that next step.... and is every year at the white trash carnival going to be this hard? What about the actual break up date? I don't think that will be hard. So what is it about meeting the family that makes it so hard????

Friday, June 6, 2008


Camp is finally over... and what a crazy turn of events. Let me start from the beginning.

I had heard the buzzing about there being so much snow at Shalom that we wouldn't be able to go. The YW president told me I should attend the camp meeting on Thursday night at the Stake Center to get the low down. Well, lucky for me my mom is super good friends with the bishop's wife and she gets all the scoop and luckily so did I. I found out Thursday morning that as a Stake we would be camping in Lehi somewhere and that Camp would still happen this week. Needless to say I was super happy about that!!! I didn't want my August ruined you know?! I'm so selfish!

So, At the meeting they tell us things have changed a little. Instead of camp starting Tuesday afternoon it started Tuesday morning - and instead of ending on Saturday afternoon it would end on Friday afternoon. I didn't mind to much because that meant less food for me to cook!!! So I spent the weekend shopping for food. About $700.00 and a near anxiety attack later, camp food was all purchased, and I spent the remainder of the weekend cooking the food i had bought so i would be prepared! On Sunday the camp director and I sang a little song about the changes for camp - to the tune of Count your many blessings.... it was super cute i must admit!!! We told the girls of the changes and they were pretty excited. Who wouldn't want to trade a snowy camp for a sunny one?!

So, Monday I spent the entire day packing the food into coolers and boxes. And loading everything in our giant YW Camp Trailer. Plus, attending pack check and making sure girls brought the things they needed for camp. It was actually pretty exciting except I was beginning to have anxiety about cooking all week! No worries though - It would all work out!

We (Leaders and YCL's) left crazy early on Tuesday morning for our Lehi Camp and started to set up camp before the rest of the girls got there. By the time the girls arrived 2 hours later - My kitchen was set up, we had 3 regular size canopies, 1 massive canopy, and a roof for my kitchen set up. Along with a 20 man tent, and 3, 8-man tents!!! The girls came and we started with breakfast which I slaved over. Okay not really, we had costco muffins provided by the relief society - and fruit and juice, provided by Costco.

By lunch time it was WINDY! But it was okay -we had been expecting some rain on Wednesday and we were prepared for it! I made lunch and we had some more activities - and later we had dinner and more activities. By the time we went to bed I was exhausted! But it was so windy! We went to bed and I didn't fall asleep until 1 a.m. and then i had to go to the bathroom at 2:30 in the morning of course! Dang small bladder!!! I slept until about 6:30 when I had to get up to make breakfast.

After breakfast we had flag ceremony and then came back to the campsite to do some crafts. After a little while it started to rain - not just rain, it started to POUR! So we went the girls to their tents to have some solo time while we went from tent to tent patching up holes, and digging motes around tents just to be on the safe side. By about 11 a.m. we started talking about lunch and needed to change our menu. However, the food I had planned on eating for lunch on Thursday was at my house waiting to come up Wednesday night. The camp director sent me home for it, as well as making a pit stop at Harmons for some things and Maverick for a Dt. Coke for her.

By the time I got back it was pouring in O town, but not so bad in Lehi. I put all the food in my kitchen just in time to be taken to a meeting where - camp was changed again. I guess a lot of the wards were not prepared for rain and were having some serious flooding problems with their tents and the decision was made to go home and continue camp at the Stake Center. What? I know right?!

It took us only one hour to pack up everything in the trailer with the exception of the kitchen and the tents. Everything else was packed. We left and went to the church for lunch and a leader program. At the end of the night we sent the girls home to shower and they were allowed to decide if they wanted to sleep at home or at Sis. Gibb's home on the floor. EVERYONE showed up to Sis. Gibb's. It was so cute! So we camped out on her floor. On Thursday morning we went to the stake center and finished certification and such. At lunchtime we went to the church and had lunch, and then did our activities at the church and prepared for bishopric night. Which ended around 10 p.m. and then went home! That was the end of camp! Can you believe all the changes? There was so much more to it, but i'm exhausted and don't have time to go into all of it. Maybe later if I feel like it!

Oh - one last thing - and this is some wonderful news!!! New Kids on the Block (NKOTB for all of those fans) is coming in concert to the E center this November! I'm SO going! I loved the New Kids on the Block. I do have their greatest hits CD and listen to it on my iPod whenever it comes up! We watched the NKOTB concert video at Sis. Gibb's house.... it was SO much fun! I love doing dorky things! ANYWAY - if anybody would like to go - let me know! It'll be a party!