Monday, November 28, 2011

Thankful Day 18

November 18, 2011

Today, I am thankful for Fridays. Random, yes, but at the same time not so random. I love Fridays, I look forward to Fridays all week. Fridays mean I have spent the week working with clients and co-workers that I really enjoy working with. It also means, I get to spend the weekend with my husband. Oh, how I love Fridays!

Thankful Day 17

November 17, 2011

Today, I am thankful that I have a passion, and that my job is part of that passion. Today, I was able to share that passion with a classroom full of students at Utah Valley University. I am passionate about working with people with intellectual disabilities... It is something that I love, and feel very strongly about. I feel so lucky to be able to work with these individuals, and that I am passionate about my work!

Thankful Day 16

November 16, 2011

I am thankful for Human Rights... Odd I know. But, today I taught Human Rights Part 1 and kept thinking about how lucky I am to have the rights that I have. It's a little thing - but a big thing at the same time!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Thankful Day 15

November 15, 2011

Today, I am thankful for Online Classes. Not just because I can do them from my home office while in my pajamas - but because I am able to take classes from a school in Florida - on my own time. There is one school here that does the classes I am taking, but they only start every other year (i would have had to wait until next year to start them), and I would have to drive all the way to Logan for them... NO thank you! I'll stick with Florida classes in my jammies!

Thankful Day 14

November 14, 2011

I am thankful for exercise. I have been trying to work out at least 3 days per week, and I have some friends at work that I work out with twice per week. As much as I hate starting to exercise, oh and the whole sweating part, I really enjoy working out my body and feeling sore when I'm working out muscles that I don't usually work out. Plus, I feel like I have WAY more energy when I exercise, than when I don't. Who knew I would be thankful for exercise... but I am!

Thankful Day 13

November 13, 2011

Today I am thankful for Skype specifically. We got to Skype my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews tonight and it was SO much fun! It is so much better than just talking on the phone to them! I love being able to see them! The boys are getting so big now! Sarah was a little camera shy, but I'm sure eventually she will learn to love Skype as much as I do! I am thankful that Skype makes it possible for my family to keep in contact with each other, even when they're so far away!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Thankful Day 12

November 12, 2011

I am thankful for toilet paper... I know this seems weird, but this morning I was going to the bathroom and realized that the t.p. roll was empty... I keep surplus t.p. above the toilet on a cupboard... as I grabbed the last roll in the bathroom it slipped out of my hand, and I caught it just before it landed in the toilet... that would have been awful! For some reason, at that time I realized that I am really lucky to be able to have toilet paper in general, and can afford the kind I like. I love t.p.

Thankful Day 11

November 11, 2011

Today, is Veterans Day.... and as such, I am thankful for Veterans. I am thankful for those who have given up much of their freedoms to protect mine. My own father is a Veteran... I am so thankful for him! It is sad that only on certain holidays, like today, do people remember those who fight for our freedoms... Dad, I hope you get your free car wash today! THANK YOU!

Thankful Day 10

November 10, 2011

I am thankful for friends today. We had some friends over for dinner and games tonight. It was so much fun! We love spending time with this couple, so we try and do it once a month or so... and every time we do - we realize how lucky we are to have such great friends! It is nice to have friends as a couple. So, Natalie and Taylor - we are thankful for you!

Thankful Day 9

November 9, 2011

Today I am thankful for my co-workers. We had correlation this morning, and I realized that I work with a great bunch of people. I really like all of them! I have been so blessed to be able to work with people that I respect, and have a great relationship with. We sat laughing in the office today, and I was overwhelmed with emotion and love for my co-workers. It also helps that they don't mind having me around! As much as I loved my old job, working from home wasn't good for me... this new job is much better - and having an office environment with these co-workers is truly a blessing! Yay for co-workers!

Thankful Day 8

November 8, 2011

Today, I am Thankful for the chance to Vote! Yes, I vote... I try and pay attention to what is happening in my area... I try to make an informed decision and vote for whomever I feel is the best candidate, rather than whoever has the prettiest/most signs. If you don't vote, shame on you, and you have no right to complain! Not only am I voting for my future, but I am thanking those who fought so long and hard, for me to be able to have the right to vote! Thank you to them!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Thankful Day 7

November 7, 2011

Today, I am thankful for modern medicine, and the amazing people who have worked so tirelessly to keep improving things so that people can remain healthy, get better, and have things they never thought they could. I'm thankful that people go to medical school for years, and get hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, to be able to help people. I am SO thankful that they are able to help me and my family!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Thankful Day 6

November 6, 2011

Today I am thankful for the opportunity to go back to school. This is a hard one to be thankful for today since I am struggling in my class already, at understanding some of the concepts. Behavior language is a foreign concept to me, so I'm having to work harder at this than I have in any other classes before... but boy am I lucky! I am so thankful to have this opportunity to better myself, to increase my knowledge, and to be able to make a difference in people's lives.

Thankful Day 5

November 5, 2011

Today, I am thankful for my body. My little brother Spencer participated in the Telos Turkey Triathalon. He had to run, bike, and swim. He has been training really hard for this. While, i am not able to do a triathalon, I can certainly walk, bike, and swim... things that not everyone is able to do; and for that, I am truly thankful!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Thankful Day 4

November 4, 2011

Today, I am thankful for the sun! I thought it was going to snow today - but it's not! It's beautifully sunny outside. I'm even thankful for it when it shines right in the little space between the blinds and the window frame right into my eyeballs in the mornings... The sun makes me happy!

Thankful Day 3

November 3, 2011

Today, I am thankful for an office with a window. It is really nice to sit in my office and work, and be able to look out a window at the beautiful mountains and the blue sky! I have worked in offices with no windows, and some with windows that looked out to other buildings... a window with an amazing view is more than I could have asked for!

Thankful Day 2

November 2, 2011( Yes, I'm a few days late - I got busy okay?!)

Today, I am thankful for my amazing husband! What a wonderful man! We have been in love for just over 3 years, and every day I find myself falling a little more in love with him than the day before. Who knew it was possible to love so much!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Thankful... Day One

Today I am thankful for amazing parents. Today is my parents 31st Anniversary! They are wonderful and amazing people! I am so happy to have them in my life. They have been an amazing influence in my life and I love them so much. Here's to 31 more years!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The big 30!

Yup... I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago. I know I'm just now getting around to blogging about it - but I've been crazy busy!

Honestly, 30 wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. For some reason - I suddenly felt all grown up... Like I finally had turned into an adult! For some reason I've felt like I was pretending to be an adult for all these years and then suddenly I turned 30 and it magically happened over night! I'm not sure what it was but I'm feeling all adult-ish now. Maybe it's the new job and doing more school among other things... I don't know. But I'm kind of liking it.

My birthday was a great celebration. Travis and I celebrated with dinner and a movie - and of course a fabulously amazing purse! Seriously - it's fantastic! I'm such a lucky lady!

I think instead of doing 31 things to accomplish before I'm 31 - I'm just going to focus on myself. That sounds selfish and everything, but I am going to focus on improving myself - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. I think it's a good plan. :)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Finishing Goals

I turned 30 last week... more on that in a different post. But I wanted to make sure and update the progress of my 30 by 30 goals.

3. Go on a real vacation: We had decided to go on vacation this fall, but I changed jobs and don't have enough time off yet, to go on vacation. We are planning two for next year though. I can't say much about them quite yet, although I'm pretty sure one of them will be to NYC for our anniversary. So, I didn't slack and not even try - I just had to postpone the actual vacation until I have some more time.

6. Start a Family: I went to a doctor a couple of months ago - who gave me some direction that consisted of "Lose X amount of weight and I'll get you pregnant". That X amount is more than my next goal... 7. Lose a very specific but undisclosed amount of weight: So I changed the undisclosed amount - increased it actually - and haven't hit it yet. That's not to say I'm not working on it though - I go to WW each week, if only I could make myself track more often. New goal I guess.

10. Take more pictures: I would say the fact that I've actually had posts with pictures since then, shows that I really am taking more pictures! I guess I should scrapbook them now!

12. Learn to De-Stress: This has been really hard, but I realized a couple of months ago - that I need to let things go. I have never been a grudge holder - but I will stress about things I can't change as well as things that don't really effect me. If I came home on Saturday from my WW meetings and Travis had cleaned the kitchen - I started to stress that maybe he thought I was a bad wife because I didn't do it... Who needs that in their life?! Travis and I had a nice long talk about our "responsibilities" inside the home and he made me feel so much better! I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who can help calm me down, and really takes most of the stress out of my life! He is amazing!

13. Do Something Physically Adventurous/Difficult: This one was hard... I had several ideas - one that involved a vacation that we won't be doing in November... However, I realize I did something... I hate exercising - I think it's awful. I get bored and would rather be doing, well, anything else! I also hate sweating - so the two just aren't that interesting to me. Travis and I did P90X... Well, for us, it was more like P60X - I ended up pulling a muscle in my sternum (who knew you could even do that - and I still don't know how I did it) and couldn't finish. We are about to start it up again... Why oh Why do I torture myself like this? It also requires waking up early, which is one of my least favorite things! Oh well - it's all for the good of the family (or future family).

20. Volunteer: This is the one I have failed with the most. I don't really volunteer for anything specific... I mean, I donate money to charities - I volunteer to watch my nephews and niece - but aside from that, I haven't "volunteered" for much of anything. Maybe I'll volunteer at bountiful baskets this week...

24. Blog More Often: I think I'm probably half finished with this. I have blogged more often - but not much. I need to keep working on this one.

28. Take another class or two: Or Five. I am registered to begin classes in Fall through the Florida Institute of Technology taking classes to become a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. It is five courses and a big nasty exam - I should be done in May 2013 as long as all goes well! Whew! I'm nervous!

30. Forgive those who have hurt me: I know I'm not the best person in the world, and that I've made some really stupid mistakes in the past, and hurt lots of people. But, I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to work harder at being a good person, and I think I'm slowly progressing. It's hard to forgive people, when they don't realize they have hurt you. In any case - this is a work in progress and I think I'm doing well so far. It's interesting though, how hurt feelings take so long to heal. There's one person that I still don't know how to forgive, but I think it's because I don't want to forgive... like I said, a work in progress.

So... I'm not a complete failure, and nor did I slack on anything really - I just need to work a little harder on some. Will I make a 31 before 31 list? No, probably not... And that's okay.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

#4 Organize my Scrapbook Stuff

BEFORE:
AFTER:





Yes, my scrapbook stuff was in Chaos! I typically can't handle that big of a mess - but it's in the office and I don't ever go in there as often now and I didn't know what I was going to do with all of the stuff. When I changed jobs in May, I ended up having a giant 4 drawer filing cabinet that was sitting empty! I couldn't let it go to waste now could I?

I spent about three hours going through all of my scrapbook stuff and putting them in organized fashion - into my filing cabinet. I wish the drawers were deeper because my 12x12 paper doesn't stand up, and has to lay down instead. Which might be good since it takes up the ENTIRE top drawer (and that's after I put into recycling 2 entire kitchen size garbage bags full of paper)! The second drawer is all card stuff and scissors. The third drawer is full of embellishments - think ribbon, flowers, stickers, die cuts, stamps, brads, charms, etc. The bottom drawer has my cricuit and cartridges as well as my glue dots and stuff.

As I was organizing and cleaning it Travis asked me, "In all seriousness honey, are you really going to use all of that stuff? Do you really think you'll get into scrapbooking like you used to?" I told him I want to - we will just see! :) Yay for scrapbook stuff!

Rock Band Party

Brett Michaels and Lindsay Lohan (Taylor and Natalie Wright)
Rocker Man and Woman (Daniel and Marissa Fischer)
Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber (Bethany and Greg Lawrence)
Freddie Mercury and Amy Winehouse (Travis and Myself)
We had a Rock Band Party on June 11th and invited people that Bethany and I used to work with. It was kind of our idea of a "goodbye" party since we both left our jobs within weeks of each other! We had a few others show up for dinner, but left before the real party started. The music didn't start until probably 9:30 because we had to wait until it got dark out. We had a great time though! We set up the Rock Band stuff in the back yard, and after dinner and dessert - we played until midnight. It was a BLAST! We are so glad that some of our friends could come! I'm thinking we should have another Rock Band Party...

Monday, July 18, 2011

#2 Read 30 Best Sellers

This one was SUPER hard! I read a bunch of books that didn't count - and struggled through some that did! All in all - I think I learned a lesson... Only read books you want to read. If it's not that interesting - get rid of it! So, here they are... my list of 30 best sellers!

1. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Stieg Larsson
2. The Girl who Played with Fire: Stieg Larsson
3. Little Bee : Chris Cleave
4. Best Friends Forever: Jennifer Wieners
5. The Tipping Point: Malcolm Gladwell
6. Blink: Malcolm Gladwell
7. The Girl who Kicked the Hornets Nest: Stieg Larsson
8. The Hungar Games: Suzanne Collins
9. Catching Fire: Suzanne Collins
10. Mocking Jay: Suzanne Collins
11. I Am Four: Pittacus Lore
12. Maze Runner: James Dashner
13. The Postmistress: Sarah Blake
14. The 5 Love Languages: Gary Chapman
15. Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet: James Ford
16. One Day: David Nicholls
17. Catch Me If You Can: Frank W. Abagnale
18. Are you There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea: Chelsea Handler
19. My Horizontal Life: Chelsea Handler
20. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang: Chelsea Handler
21. The Help: Kathryn Stockett
22. The Book Thief: Markus Zusak
23. Bridget Jones Diary: Helen Fielding
24. Something Borrowed: Emily Giffin
25. Something Blue: Emily Giffin
26. Same Kind of Different As Me: Ron Hall and Denver Moore with Lynn Vincent
27. Unbroken: Laura Hillenbrand
28. Diary of a Mad Fat Girl: Stephanie McAfee
29. Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me: Chelsea Handler
30. Water For Elephants: Sara Gruen

#1 Plant Flowers in my Front Flower Bed

BEFORE:


AFTER:
On June 4th Travis and I planted flowers in the front flower bed. A week later, they all died - some nonsense about needing water?! Apparently our sprinklers were broken - and we had no idea! So sad... Some of them are trying to come back - but I doubt it will happen. They were very pretty for the few days we had them! The plan is, to tear out those ugly bushes too, and put something else there. We will see how that works out though! We are still working on the back yard! Whew!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Goals...

I haven't forgotten about my goals - don't you fret! I've actually completed 7 more of them... Since it has been a while for some of them - I'll just list them here and what I did briefly. Then I'll be a little more diligent in regards to blogging them more.

5. Use my Clinical License (May 2, 2011) - As a behavior analyst, I am using my clinical license while doing assessments, writing treatment plans, etc. I am loving it so far!

9. Re-decorate one room in my house (May 20, 2011) - My husband and I finally made a proper guest bedroom - complete with a Queen size bed, dresser, night stand, bedding and curtains. I would definitely call it a success! It is no longer an empty room with "sports" themed curtains.

14. Decrease my debt - increase my savings (June 3, 2011) - We have paid off our credit card and have plenty to spare! This makes not only me happy, but Travis extremely happy! All that would make him happier is a coupon for free chips and queso from Chilis... Aah, the simple things in life.

15. Clean out my car- and keep it clean for a week (March 2011) - how about keeping it clean for a MONTH! Yeah, impressive right? I had my car detailed in March and it was beautiful for several weeks. Right now it's clean still but there is some dog hair - so it needs to be touched up. It's amazing that since I don't feel like I live in my car anymore... my car is much cleaner!

16. Host a dinner with some friends - cook the entire thing (March 2011) - Travis and I had some friends (Natalie and Taylor) over for dinner and games one night and I made the entire thing. I am having trouble recalling what I made exactly but I know it was mexican food and it was delicious! But really, what mexican food isn't! Mmm...

21. Take my parents out for a really nice dinner (February 2011) - We took my parents out to Teppanyaki for dinner in February. The shocker - my parents each tried their first piece of sushi... we had them try a bite of a Vegas roll... They weren't big fans, but they tried it and I figure that is progress so it should count for something! They really enjoyed dinner and my mom and I went to a concert that evening while the boys watched a movie.

27. Be able to look at my finances without feeling like I need to throw up (May 2011) - This has been a hard one. We changed our money strategy and since then, I don't freak out when we talk about finances. Travis actually talks to me about them more now than he did before, and I am virtually vomit free during those discussions. I think it's probably the fact that we have no outstanding debt... My car is almost paid off, and we are paying on student loans and a mortgage... but those things are good debt and the interest rates are low... I seriously feel SO much better about finances now.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Good News!

Remember this post? Well - would you believe it worked??? I was SO surprised I can't even stand it! My goal was to get a new job by April 1st. Well, April 1st came and went... But on April 8th, I got a phone call from Shawnee - the clinical director of Chrysalis. She asked me if I was still interested in doing behavior work and I told her I was. I explained that I had looked further into school, but was having a hard time determining where to do school and more importantly, how I would get my "hours" in. Shawnee told me that she and Marc were extremely impressed with me and that they were creating a new position with me in mind. She said that they were not going to post the position, and they were not going to interview me because they felt like our lunch was interview enough. She gave me information on the salary, benefits, retirement, etc and told me to think about it, and we set up a time to meet on Monday the 11th after the Autism Conference. I went inside my house and told my dear hubby Travis - "I think I was just offered a job!" I had to call Shawnee back and clarify - she laughed and said Yes, she had offered me the job. I talked it over with my husband (a conversation that lasted all of 2 minutes) and then called my mom to let her know! She immediately said "Well, the 8th of April is not the 1st, but it works just as well!" I couldn't agree more!

I am so excited for this new adventure! A new job doing something I'm extremely interested in - for a company I have respected and loved working with for the past 7 years. I am so excited! On the 11th, I accepted their offer and determined that I would start on May 2nd. I don't think it really hit me that I would be doing a different job, until I had to tell my bosses, and more importantly my clients. That has been the hardest. I've been a support coordinator for just shy of 7 years, and many of the clients I've had for that entire time. It was truly a hard thing for me to say goodbye to them. I am lucky to have worked with some great people - and I know my clients will be well taken care of! Last night I had a nice cry as I finished the last of my visits... it's such a bittersweet moment.

I am excited for this new opportunity and exciting adventure! Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

A Long Time...

I know it has been a long time since I have blogged - and for the one or two of you that actually read this - sorry... Things have been crazy - I've been trying to find a new job and have not been successful so far. I did have another round of interviews at one place - and then they hired someone with a PhD. I know I shouldn't be discouraged - but this is the second time in 8 months that I have actually gotten an interview - from the dozens of resumes and applications I have sent out... only to lose a job (after 2 - 3 stellar interviews) to someone who is WAY overqualified. It's so frustrating - but as Travis keeps telling me - it's just a sign that the economy hasn't quite recovered yet. In other news - I have accomplished several of my goals and am working diligently on others. I am really excited and feel really good about it! It's Audit time at work... which also explains my long absence - I'm just waiting to see what happens next with my files... maybe I'll get fired and just collect unemployment for a while. We will see :)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

# 22 - Take my in-laws our for a nice dinner

Travis and I spent a few days at the end of January in St. George with his parents. We went down for business more than pleasure. I have 4 clients down south and had some meetings to do down there. Travis and his business partner held a seminar for some of Travis's parent's friends and were able to conduct some business down there as well!

Well, we decided to take Travis's parents out for a nice dinner! Now, I know that a "Nice" dinner is relative... Travis's parents are on the Atkins diet and can only eat meat and veggies - his dad loves to eat at a Brazilian steakhouse up here called Tucanos - so we figured we would take them for their first experience at a Japanese Steakhouse - and took them to a place called Samurai 21 - it's just like Teppanyaki. Boy did they love it! It was perfect for their dietary restrictions - and in their eyes it qualifies as a "nice" dinner. I think it was a nice dinner. Travis's dad spent a good chunk of the dinner time harassing the little boy at the table with us with hair like Justin Bieber - boy does Bob think he's funny!

It was nice to be able to take them out for a nice dinner and to be able to spend time with them without other family members around. I'm really excited to do this with my parents next!

# 17 - Throw a Themed Party

Is Christmas a theme? I believe so! Travis and I put on Christmas dinner for both of our families in our home. It was such a hit - I was really surprised! It took a TON of work - but turned out amazingly well! Here is what our tables looked like... Yes, I made the treats in the baggies with the help of Travis' niece and nephew.


This is the table in the kitchen... My parents and Travis's parents sat there


This is the rest of our living room. We had 15 people at our house for dinner - I was surprised everyone fit - but they did and it seriously went so much better than I thought it would have!


Our first attempt at homemade stuffing - as well as Turkey!

Such a beautiful bird! Perfectly moist! Notice all of the crockpots? It was crockpot-a-palooza at our house on Christmas! But it was such a perfect way to make sure everything stayed warm! I think we may do this again next year... We will see! :)


#19 - Sign All of the Books I read

This goal was accomplished on December 26, 2010. You see, for Christmas I got a Barnes and Noble Nook I LOVE IT! It is going to help me reach my goal of 30 best sellers in no time! So, I finished reading my final paperback book - and have since moved on to e-books! I was worried I would miss the feel and smell of books - but I don't. After all, I teach college courses and read textbooks on a regular basis. The Nook is the best present I have gotten in a long time! It fits in my purse and I take it everywhere and can read whatever I want, whenever I want! It's such a fantastic little toy! I highly recommend it!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Push

One of my favorite movies is White Christmas... One of my favorite lines the movie is when Judy tells Betty "You can't leave everything up to fate. Just like honesty needs a little plus, Fate needs a little push".

Well, I have given fate a little push. Yesterday I decided to send an email to someone that I really want to work for. I wrote a long thoughtful email as to why I wanted to work for them, the needs that I have seen in their company as well as the needs they have vocalized - and how I can fill those needs. I was TERRIFIED to send the email - but about an hour after I sent it, I received a return email saying that they would like to meet with me to discuss the position...

We will see what happens!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Resolutions

I figured I didn't need to make any resolutions this year since I have some goals I'm trying to accomplish by the time I turn 30 (in 7 short months). HOWEVER, I realized I need a time-frame for some of these - for my own sanity and mental health.

So - my New Years Resolution - to Find a Masters Level Social Work job and start it by April 1, 2011. I want to be out of my job by April 1st. I love my job, I do, but I need something that's more challenging - and I need to put all of those student loans to good use!

SO - if any of you know of anybody who is hiring an MSW/CSW - please let me know - I will apply!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Goodbye 2010...

I'm just not sure I'm ready to welcome 2011 yet! Where has time gone?! I'm not sure if it's the weather, the cold, or the fact that I'm even closer to 30 than I'd like to be... but I'm just a little depressed lately. It seems like things are NOT going the way that I want them to.

I had so many great intentions for my 30 by 30 list... I have a couple of them accomplished, one or two more to blog about still, a few I'm working on still, and some I haven't even touched. I guess my big stress right now is that there are 2 or 3 on there that it seems like, no matter what I do, I'm not any closer to accomplishing them than I was in September when I started... and I feel like I'm never going to get there.

I don't want to be a cry baby or a whiner - but I'm seriously struggling here. I want to cry and whine even though I know it won't help. I'm trying desperately to find a new job! I've got to get a different job - my current job is going to be the death of me! I'm overly stressed, under paid, and for the most part I don't even like it anymore. It makes me so sad because I have loved this job for the past 6 1/2 years - but every day, I realize more and more how unhappy it makes me - How stressed I am - How much I dread going to work, checking my email, etc. - How I have NO LIFE but work... I can't live like this anymore.

Unfortunately, out of the dozens of resumes I've sent to places I've only had 2 interviews in the past 4 months. One where I was the company's second choice (how do you choose someone with 9 months of experience when you can choose someone with 15 years of experience - they chose 15 years). The other, a good friend of mine got me the interview - but the company isn't hiring a social worker right now, so that didn't really go anywhere. But, to this particular friend - you are the best! Thanks for looking out for me and giving a good word... You know who you are - and I know I don't say it enough - but you're the best!

Additionally, we've been married for almost 2 years - and yes, we've been trying to have babies the entire time but we need help to make it happen (if it is possible at all)... I know this, yet every time I am more than 5 days late (i'm currently 2 weeks late - and clearblue says that I'm NOT) - I get my hopes up... and then every time it happens a little part of me cries. I try to be brave and pretend it doesn't bother me and that I'm okay with it not happening right now - but truth be told - I'm terrified that it will never happen. I always thought i would have all of my kids by the time I was 30 - just like my mom did (the twins came 4 days before she turned 30) - but now I'm just hoping to have 1 by 35.

Travis and I have talked and decided that as soon as we have our debt paid off (besides student loans and a mortgage) that we will go see someone about it... Right now we are looking at late March/early April for having our debt paid off (it would have been sooner but my car ended up needing some seriously expensive work done last week)... And then we will see what happens.

I need to relax... I am sure things will happen when they are supposed to - but I'm getting a little tired of waiting. Patience is a virtue that I do not possess!