You know what they say about March...

It comes in like a Lion and Out like a Lamb....

Our March definitely came in like a Lion!!! This month has been so trying on me mentally and emotionally! Travis and I started out the month with the shocking news that he had been suspended from work for 30 days... There has been an investigation with Travis's business partners that I don't really have any details or information about other than the fact that it wasn't anything Travis did - He can't contact his clients - He's not working for 30 days - and he's afraid he will be fired. Such great news to hear right?! Travis is taking it much better than I am! I was in shock and didn't know what to do or say. When I saw him later that evening he said it was beyond his control so he wasn't going to worry about it. He is so much better than I am. I worry about it all the time - but that's how I am - I'm a worrier!

I picked up a third class at the end of February and have really gotten in to it this month - and it has been horrible! Teaching 3 classes is too hard for me to do, and to have my job as well. It just is a lot of extra work that I am having a hard time squeezing in. Not only that, but the students are SO rude and annoying! I never turned in assignments late - and I never argued with teachers about the grades they gave me! I don't understand how this is seen as okay for them! I'm your teacher and if I don't think your paper followed the requirements, and if I don't think it is an A paper - I won't give you an A. It's as easy as that! Oye! One student also tries to question me on everything I say, and tries to correct me as well - luckily, I'm kind of smart and I show up prepared so he doesn't get anything on me! Ha!

With the legislative changes that happened - I am trying to determine if I am going to be able to keep my job or not. I love my job - I love the individuals I work with and I'm not ready to move on yet. However, with the increase in caseloads that was approved I find myself questioning whether or not I can provide quality service to more individuals. And with the decrease in pay, I find my self really wondering if my difficult caseload is worth dealing with for the small amount of money I will be paid. I am trying to think outside of the box and find other things - but I love this population... More Stress...

On the other side of my job - my caseload is going crazy! I have clients running away, clients throwing tantrums, a million reviews, mountains of paperwork, Audits coming up, and the list goes on and on. No wonder I am stressed - I can't have even one weekend without a client calling because they're angry, or sad, or are running away, or whatever... I do love my job - I just wish my caseload would settle down!

We haven't really told anyone yet, but we are trying to get pregnant. The past few months have been spent doing ovulation tests and all that grand stuff - only to find out I'm just not ovulating at all, and we need help getting pregnant. Now we are at the point where we have to figure out who to see for help - what will our insurance pay for - how much can we afford to spend on fertility treatment - how far are we willing to go to have a baby and all of those other questions. We knew it was likely we would need help, this only confirmed it for us. Every time we find out we aren't pregnant, poor Travis has to deal with me. I'm getting used to it and am trying not to get my hopes up - but every month I get hopeful and then disappointed. Is it awful that I feel like less and less of a woman and wife every month that goes by? I guess things happen for a reason, we just have to figure out where to go from here.

On the bright side - we celebrated our One Year Anniversary this month! I can't believe it's been a year already! We have had a big year! We spent our anniversary weekend in St. George. 5 days doing absolutely nothing! It was so awesome! We didn't do nothing really, we watched Grey's Anatomy, we went out for dinner/lunch a few times, did some shopping, got in the hot tub... but really we just took the long weekend to relax and unwind from the stress of the month. It was a nice Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and when I tried to take Monday and Tuesday off as well - it didn't happen. I was emailing, calling, etc. people all day both days - so much for a nice long relaxing weekend!

This week Travis is in California for a business conference. This is the first time we have been away from each other since we started dating - and the first time I have slept alone since we have been married. It is so weird... Luckily, my husband is wonderful and texts or calls before and after the conference, and during their breaks. I miss him - and so do the dogs! They keep looking for him and kind of get annoyed with me when he never shows up! Sorry guys!

Travis is hoping to find out about the fate of his job by next week... The decision will either make or break me! Emotionally anyway - if you see me with big puffy red eyes and no makeup, with my hair in a messy ponytail... just know it didn't go well. I think I take these things too personally - but how can I not?! He is wonderful and stresses about me stressing about him - real productive I know!

So, after the month I've been having - you can see why I'm anxious for it to end! Let's hope it goes out like a lamb!