Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Better to lose a love than to love a loser!

Okay, maybe that's a little harsh right?! D is no loser - just an idiot!

We didn't end up meeting yesterday because it just didn't happen. Instead we met for lunch today. So I've been throwing out good thoughts to the universe hoping for some good in return of course! I met him and we had a nice little lunch and talked about superficial things. How's his family, how's mine? How is he, how am I. Stuff like that. We got out to the cars and I gave him the old license plates and he gave me a side hug - yes a side hug and said he'd see me later. I stopped him and said, "You know, my feelings for you have never changed - I still really like you. And it's apparent to me that you don't feel the same way which is fine, because maybe we aren't in the same place in life right now. It just sucks because I've been waiting for 8 months for you to decide you were going to call me and try again. But it hasn't happened and I'm not waiting around anymore because I deserve to be loved the way that I would have loved you." And then I got in my car and left. Crying of course.

So within minutes he had sent me a text saying "Geeze you seemed pissed. I never expected you to wait around for me. I'm sorry that was not clear." I told him I wasn't pissed at all, just more hurt than anything because when he said he wanted to try again, I believed him. Maybe I was just naive - but I wasn't pissed, I just didn't want him to see me cry. So he texted me back and said he was sorry and all I said was "You should be. You have no idea what you're missing out on."

Call me crazy - but I was so proud of myself! He should be sorry because damnit I'm a cool girl and a kick ass girlfriend! Not only that but I deserve better than that. I deserve to be treated well and adored. I deserve someone who wants to see me all the time and instead of being a coward and texting me an apology - someone who would actually call me at least. What do you expect from someone who breaks up with you over text right?! I should have known!

So the funny part is that I get back to my office and I'm crying to two of my friends telling them how bad I hate him - but still L him in the same sentance and my heart is broken and maybe his body language was telling me something, when I get a text with my horoscope for the day. Now, I'm normally not a believer - and to be quite honest I don't know how I ended up having my horoscope texted to me every day - but it says "Analyzing won't make things any clearer. The day is fuzzy." I'm a believer now! Maybe not a believer - but that was pretty weird.

I'll survive - don't you worry! It still hurts and probably will until I have a really good "girls night" or something. Good thing tomorrow I'm going for a Pedi. I need it! And now I am officially on a dating hiatus!

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