Yes I know - it's been a month and a half since I blogged - I've been busy so get off my case! Really I have been super busy and I will catch up with my blogness as soon as I can find the time. Right now I can't really sleep so I'm blogging away in my bed (Thank goodness for laptops)!
I am going to be brave tomorrow... very brave. The plan is to express my feelings and put my foot down at the same time. Cause I'm done! With what you may ask? Actually, if you know me well enough you know it's about D. I've decided I'm done waiting around. Not that I was actually waiting - but I kind of am in a sick way.
The plan is that tomorrow I'm giving him his old plates and he's giving me a spare to the car and then I'm going to tell him like it is. That I have feelings for him still - the feelings haven't changed. The thing is, it's been 8 months now (gosh I'm pathetic) and I haven't pushed or shoved or even made mention of the fact that HE said he wanted to try again. Even after further clarification (I'm not stupid - I know what try again means) - and he insisted he did want to try again.... still nothing. And I'm done waiting. I deserve to be loved by someone who will love me the way that I would have loved him. Is that so much to ask for? I don't think so. So that's it. I'm not waiting around - I'm officially moving onward and upward.
I'm not gonna lie though - it will hurt like hell! Anything involving feelings and the inevitibility that they will be hurt sucks but what other choice do I have. I was going to wait until I graduate next year (cause really, with my schedule who even has time to date) - but a friend of mine pointed out that next year is a year away, and a lot can change in that time. Who knows who I could meet and pass up because I'm waiting for one guy to pull his head out and realize that I'm a kick ass girlfriend and that his feelings for me are more than just lust (don't get me started on that one!). I just don't have the time or energy to wait around for that. Nor, do I deserve that!
So this is it. I'm being brave even though afterward I'm certain I will cry. Pray for me!