15 days and counting

Yes that's right - 15 days until I am sitting in the hideously uncomfortable desks of the social work building for the last year of my Masters Degree Program.... Am I excited? Of course. Am I nervous? Sure. Am I frustrated? YES! Why you may ask? It's not like I haven't done this before - I am a second year after all. My frustration stems from something bigger - like the fact that there's 15 days until class and I still don't have a practicum site. Yes, slightly stressful! Here's the skinny on that...

I've been in contact with my practicum advisor and haven't been able to get a hold of the practicum person I was supposed to meet with to arrange everything. Well, finally she makes contact with the practicum office after several calls from both me and them. Come to find out - she gave my practicum away.... to a BYU student. Is that really even fair? No - it's totally not, and I'm not completely to blame! Sure, I should have called my practicum advisor before the beginning of July to say that she never returned my phone calls. But she should have been responsible and called me to tell me she had a different number - afterall, she had all of my contact information! The thing that really irks me is the fact that it's a BYU student. Already the U of U has very few practicum placements that actually pay, this one being one of the highest (yes, i'd love to give you a psych eval for $8.00 an hour...) - yet all of the BYU practicums are required to be paid. So, a BYU student swoops in and steals my practicum along with the stipend. NOT FAIR!

So my practicum advisor tells me that I can still go there and work - they'll find something for me to do I'm sure - and I'll be doing it for free! Right - how am I supposed to feel about that?! Well, i'm not sure how i'm supposed to feel - but I can certainly tell you how I do feel. I have mixed emotions. Part of me wonders if this is a blessing in disguise... but another part of me is frustrated because it was a completely unfair process. I was the only one who was not interviewed for the practicum, not because of any fault of my own, but because the lady cancelled on me and never returned my phone calls to reschedule... How unfair is that! So I was automatically ousted out of the practicum by May and nobody told me! Part of me wants to go and work there - work hard and show them what they would have missed out on, even if it is for free. But another part of me, doesn't want to feel like the "charity case" that they "had" to provide a practicum for. I mean, nobody really wants to feel like that right?! I hate this!

Luckily, my mother is an LCSW and a professor at UVU - so she is trying to find something for me because my practicum advisor does not see the seriousness in this situation! Obviously! So, for the next 15 days I wait, hope that I get a practicum, and try not to drive myself crazy! It should be fun - or at least interesting!

In other news.... I did hit my 10% a couple of weeks ago and got my fabulous pink coach purse. It's wonderful! I also had my birthday last week... Meh, 27 feels like 26! Luckily, I have some great friends who made my birthday enjoyable! D texted me on my birthday and I have been an emotional wreck ever since! Why does he do that to me??? I'm trying to hold it together without consoling myself with food - a lot of good that does when I have ice cream and a giant cookie all in the same day! Ugh! I hate being an emotional eater! And - my work schedule started four 10 hour days.... I have mixed feelings. I love knowing I don't have to work on Fridays - but i have class and hopefully one day a practicum! But I don't really like the whole be at the office at 7 thing... Okay, let's be honest - I'm not really good at it either. If i'm here by 8, I call that a success! And, I have a secret crush on a 45 year old - I know what you're thinking but I JUST found out he was 45 - I thought he was 35!!! Imagine my surprise! Otherwise, dating is worthless and I pretty much hate it!

I'll try and be more diligent in my blogging.... We'll see how that goes! :)