Thursday, January 29, 2009

It's Pink.... and it's Scented

Name that movie...

As most of you know, I'm graduating in August-ish. I'll have a Masters Degree and will be expected to do something amazing that will change the world and peoples lives. I can live with that pressure because it's still 6 months away. HOWEVER, today in one of my classes we had a lecture on writing a resume - what looks professional, what to say, what not to say, what color the paper should be, etc. Then, our teacher proceeded to discuss the fact that we should begin looking for jobs immediately because for every $10,000.00 you want to make per year, it will take a month to find one (if I want to make 40k a year, it'll take me 4 months to find a job). I started freaking out! My heart started to race, I started to sweat a little, the all-too familiar anxiety started to press against my chest and I got a headache and felt nauseated.... I realized I'm not ready for this! I'm not ready to make such a big decision about a career yet.

School has seemed never-ending to me. I always knew I would go back to school to further my education and that always how it would be. Right now I'm not so sure. Do I want to go back? Who knows! It will depend on what happens in my "family" life. There are so many things up in the air right now! Will we have kids right away - or will we be able to have them at all? What about a job? What if I can't find one? What if nobody wants to hire me? What if due to budget cuts there are no jobs? What if I'm stuck at my job forever? I love my job but I don't know if I want to do it forever - in a few months I'll be over qualified.... ugh.

Help?! How do I not think about this and reduce the ever-increasing level of anxiety I'm feeling?

1 comment:

Vicki said...

Jen, just hang in there. You're the best!