Our First Married Christmas

Travis and I had a wonderful Christmas weekend! We spent the 23rd together after a brief work day and exchanged gifts and went to dinner.... My darling husband is the best gift giver - guess what I got! Yup - a beautiful purse! Isn't she lovely?!

He also gave me this amazing customized necklace that I LOVE - This little gem here!
I tried to put the picture on it but it was ginormous... so you get a link instead!

Our dogs are thoughtful as well and gave us this handy little machine...

Which was awesome because we ended up using it last night when Lucy barfed on the carpet.... ugh! Luckily Travis is a good husband and takes care of the barf when he is home - because I'm like Vince Vaughn in Four Christmases - get it away or I'm gonna do it too.... Ugh... I don't do dog barf very well! Yes, I gave Travis a great Christmas as well - He got a Play Station 3 and some controllers and the game Little Big Planet, as well as a pretty sweet money clip. Nothing too exciting to me but he was happy. After we opened our presents we went to Tepanyaki for dinner - yum! There is always tooo much food at Tepanyaki and I always want to eat it all but never can - and I always forget it's not good leftover... but it's fun anyway! Travis is an excellent shrimp catcher!

On the 24th we went down to my family's house to have Christmas Eve and to participate in the celebrations there! We opened a family present (Guesstures) and Austin opened some bath toys. He is such a cute little guy. Of course I held baby Conner for part of the night and just snuggled him... he's so sweet! In the morning of course we had our Christmas breakfast as usual, and then opened more presents - and then had lunch before heading off to the Cornett's for Christmas evening. While there we opened more presents, and had dinner. I seriously ate too much food this weekend - and we got spoiled at our home, my parents and his parents home as well. Overall, it was a very pleasant Christmas for us! We spent time together and with our families. It was a nice Christmas holiday. Now if only we didn't have to work this week - it would make life so much better!

one year later...

One year ago - today - Travis asked me to marry him. Oh how I love him - he's such a wonderful guy! I was so surprised and so happy - and I haven't stopped smiling since! It's hard to believe it has been one year since he proposed.... Time sure flies when you're having fun - or is it when you're busy?! Either way - time has flown and I am happier than ever!

Today we decided to do things about the same as we did last year. We are both working a little bit (not by choice mind you - we both had meetings get scheduled that we can't miss) and then will meet at home to exchange Christmas gifts and then go out to dinner since we didn't get to last year! I'm excited to give Travis his Christmas gifts even though he has technically already gotten them. I'm not very good at keeping presents a secret! In fact, I'm horrible! Travis' Christmas list hadn't been up for even a week when I went out and bought his gift, and within days had already given it to him! It's a good thing he knows me so well - someone else could get frustrated by my inability to keep such important secrets :) I'm excited for our own gift exchange today - I got him a small gift to unwrap since he has already unwrapped and used his PS3! Is it bad that I'm excited for my gift too? Travis is really thoughtful and I am almost positive I saw a package come from Coach a couple of weeks ago - I guess we will see!

I love you Travis - I'm so happy that you asked me to marry you! You're amazing and I love being able to spend the rest of my life with you!

An Update...

Well, we went to Travis' parents house on Sunday for his nephews birthday - and it was surprisingly calm and normal. His parents were actually kind of nice and I enjoyed myself. I really like our nephew and wanted to celebrate with him I just wasn't sure I could keep my mouth shut if his parents were rude again... luckily nothing happened. I think they are trying to reach out to Travis in their own way although he is somewhat resistant - I don't blame him - I'm SUPER resistant. Part of me wants to forgive and forget and part of me wants to scream at them. Travis is seeming a little happier but I think it's fake - he knows I'm worried about him and is trying to be all brave for me. He's such a great guy - he deserves a wonderful Christmas... too bad he opened his presents by the end of September... I know, I can't keep a secret!!! Oh well, he at least gets a little present to open even though it's nothing spectacular! :) Love that boy!

HELP?!

I am having a huge problem and typically I wouldn't turn to my blog for advice - especially since maybe two people read it! (Thanks Vicki and Sarah... it makes me feel special!) But I just don't know what to do - and I figure it's easier to vent it here than to anyone else really....

My husband is the most caring, thoughtful, considerate, non-confrontational man in the world. I, on the other hand am caring, occasionally thoughtful, considerate when I feel like it, and VERY confrontational. We are having problems with his parents! He called them the Saturday before Thanksgiving and asked them about a business proposition - and they wouldn't listen to him. See, Travis and his business partners applied for a small business loan so they can move to the "private" franchise sector of financial advise/planning. This will cost us about $200,000.00 to do and quite frankly we don't have the cash for that. The bank said that our credit was good enough, but that between the 3 business partners we don't have enough collaterol to use to back a $250k business loan. We have only owned our home since June, one of his business partners is a renter, and the other just bought his home in October. So - we were stuck. I told Travis that maybe we should talk to his parents. He said he would talk to his business partners about it. Travis' parents own a home up here in West Valley free and clear - they also own a home in St. George that they are paying a mortgage on. Their plan is to sell the home in the spring when they don't have to realize capital gains on it (which they are being entirely dishonest about and that's a whole other story that makes me angry) - so, Travis and his business partners talked, ran some numbers, and decided to ask Travis's parents to co-sign on the loan and use their West Valley home as collaterol in order to be able to finance the loan. In return, because they would be unable to sell the home during this time, Travis and his business partners would pay his parents $1,000.00 each month while they pay off the loan. That way his parents have some sort of payment for their help and Travis and his partners are able to go "private". It sounds like a win-win for everyone involved right?! Well, Travis talked to his parents about it and his dad wouldn't listen and said No. He said he knew we would come to him and ask for money, yada yada yada. Travis told him he wasn't listening and that he wasn't asking for money but his dad refused to listen. Travis was so heartbroken - if his parents didn't want to co-sign he didn't really care about that but he cared that they wouldn't even listen to him. Travis was so depressed about it and I told him to call his dad and tell him how he felt about it. On Monday evening Travis called his parents and told them how he felt about them not listening to him and not being very supportive of him and his career. Travis' parents retaliated with the fact that we had already ruined their "retirement security" by not purchasing their house anyway. Travis told his father that he thought it would be best for us not to go down to visit over Thanksgiving because it may be awkward. Travis's father responded very maturely and told him that if we didn't come down we would hurt his mother's feelings and would not be welcome to come down ever. SOO NICE right?! So, while trying to be "adult" about it, we went down and had a horrible time.

Ever since then Travis has been different. His hopes and dreams have been deflated by the fact that he can't go "private" and have a "way out" of his office job. He loves being a financial planner/advisor and is SO good at his job - he just needs this private thing to work out because he will have so much more freedom in the way he works with his clients! Now, he hates going to work. He dreads going to the office at 8:00 am and not getting home until 9:00 pm. He complains about how he doesn't get paid enough to be away from me for so many hours in the day (which is very true! Another benefit to being private is the company doesn't take their 70% off the top of whatever he makes - there isn't as much overhead which means, he gets paid better - but he is also able to be flexible about the payment that people make - he can extend payments, he can lower payments where he can't do that right now). He says that this may not be the career he wants to pursue anymore. He stressess about making his "quota" because if he doesn't do a certain amount of business he can be fired. He is such an honest man that he doesn't try and sell people things they don't want or need... Travis is not the same man I married - he's not the same man he was just a month ago either and I don't know what to do about it! He's depressed, deflated, he feels defeated and I just don't know how to help him.

As Christmas gets closer I have more anxiety about visiting with his family over the Holiday. I don't want to see them. I am refusing to take white trash family photos with them this weekend. I don't want to see them for our nephews birthday. I don't want to spend time with them at all - HECK, I don't want to give them the awesome Christmas gift we already bought them. I was a quiet wife who let her husband be treated like crap by his parents because I didn't want to interfere (and I didn't want them to hate me more than they already do) - but I don't think I can take it anymore! I love my husband and it kills me to see him so unhappy. I know he doesn't like fighting with them and he is trying to be the bigger person - he really is. But quite frankly, I am SICK of being the bigger person. Screw his parents - how dare they be so inconsiderate and not even LISTEN to their son. If they had really listened to his proposition and decided they didn't want to do that anymore - that would be one thing - but for them to not listen at all and make assumptions and then guilt us into spending time with them over Thanksgiving makes me furious! It takes every ounce of self control I have not to go over to their home and yell at them, and tell them how horrible I think they are! I haven't really gotten along with them anyway so it wouldn't kill me - but I know it would kill Travis.

I guess I just don't know what to do! I don't think we should have to spend time with them just because it's Christmas. We are our own family and should be able to spend the Holiday together without them. That being said, I want to spend time with my family over Christmas (I can't get enough snuggling from baby Conner) - but if it meant that we ditch out on Christmas day with my family too so as not to be unfair, then I would be okay with that too. Is it completely immature to NOT go to their house on Christmas? We are adults, and adults don't HAVE to go to anyones house right?! We don't have to do anything we don't want to.... but how do I tell his parents that?! And how do I convince him that we don't have to go - and shouldn't go? And, how do I get my husband to feel better about himself and his job? It is so discouraging to see him like this - it tears me up! Any suggestions would be appreciated!

25 years...

Who knew getting a Masters Degree would be so expensive! I have just made my first student loan payment... my first of many! It's unfortunate that I had to take out loans to pay for an education - and even more unfortunate that I have to start paying them now, even though I just graduated about 4 months ago - and MOST unfortunate - that I will be paying on them every month for the next 25 years! But, I guess it's not a big deal! I mean, I learned a lot - because of my degree I am teaching at UVU so that's a good thing too! I had to extend the amount of time I pay on my student loans from 10 years to 25 years because I wasn't comfortable with the payment schedule that UHEAA and the FedLoan companies were giving me... I mean, I don't mind being poor - but dang! :) In any case, I'll pay without complaint because I have something to show for it! I guess that means I should take my licensing exam huh?! :) That's next on my to do list - after grading the finals from my first stint as a college professor! Wahoo!

Happy Holidays... Happy Holidays...

I love the holidays! I love the music, the smells... I love how happy everyone is at this time of year, I love buying and giving gifts, I love so many things about the holidays! One thing I do not love? SNOW! I hate snow! I know, why do I live in Utah if I hate snow so much?! I dunno, my parents moved here and I decided never to leave! I don't like shoveling - I don't like scraping ice and snow off my car - I don't like being cold - and I don't like the fact that lots of people don't know how to drive in snow (as evidenced by the 2 1/2 hour long trip it would take me to get to work just trying to avoid such idiots!) ... eew I just hate snow! Otherwise I love this time of year!

I love Christmas Parties! We have been to two already and still have another 3 ish to go to. We went to a party at our friends, the Newbolds - complete with an ugly sweater contest and a white elephant gift - that was pretty fun! Last night we went to my work Christmas Party! We had a nice dinner and chatted with each other and then were given gifts from our bosses... They gave everyone a new laptop and some giftcards! Crazy right?! They're the cute little Samsung tiny laptops that fit right in my purse! And the giftcards? Holy Cow! I was speechless! Seriously - I wasn't expecting anything at all! I thought maybe a nice card - maybe a small giftcard to Olive Garden or something - but I was completely shocked and surprised! It was crazy!

Things in my life as well as Travis' have been going pretty well - and when I start to question what I'm doing something like this happens and makes me feel like I really am doing what I should be. I'm doing the things I need to do and it's nice to have that kind of validation! There are things in our lives that aren't going as well as we had hoped - but you know, I guess that's life. So many things have gone well for us that it only makes sense that some things not go our way - as much as I hate it! I guess that's just something I have to learn to get used to right?!

Our Thanksgiving Reality...

Well, things went mostly according to plan for Thanksgiving and overall we had a fairly decent time. Here is what happened...

Thursday: My mom was called out on a Red Cross Mental Health something or other for the guy that got stuck in the Nutty Putty Caves - she had to do some bereavement counseling with workers and family members so she was gone from 4:00 a.m. until almost 12:30 p.m. It didn't put a damper on our Thanksgiving at all because my dad is a trooper and a great cook and he took over the extra parts of Thanksgiving that my mom would usually do. I think Melissa helped as well. Travis made the green bean casserole and boy was he proud of himself - We made it in the crockpot and it was much better than I remember it being last year. Probably because we had it at his family's house last year and it was pretty runny. ANYWAY - We had one of my mom's colleagues over for Thanksgiving dinner as well - Hagen (I probably spelled his name wrong) and he told us all about his anthropological dig in South America this summer and I will admit I was fascinated! Who knew you could tell so much about people and their political schema by their teeth! Crazy! After dinner we played a friendly round of Boxers or Briefs (this game is not sold in stores anymore but if you can get a copy of one I highly recommend it - it keeps us laughing for hours!). If you get a chance, ask Travis about my bootylicious mother! Good times! After the game we prepared our game plan for Black Friday and then Travis and I went home to relax for the rest of the day.

Friday: Travis and I woke up at 3:15 to leave the house by 3:30 to go to Kohls to buy 3 things. The doors opened at 4:00 a.m. and it was a madhouse by the time we go there. If you know the Jordan Landing area at all, you will know what I'm talking about. The line started at the doors on the west side, wrapped around to the north and all the way around the east side of the store... it was a LONG line! Travis and I were in line right in front of the Northern doors. Luckily, Travis and I went in and knew where we were going and got all 3 things that we wanted and got in line right away. We were out of Kohls by 4:30. We thought everywhere opened at 4 so we went to Target and Best Buy but they weren't open and instead of waiting for them to open we decided to go home and back to bed. We woke up again around 8:30 in the morning and got ready and packed up to head out to St. George. With our trunk full of dog stuff, our one duffel bag for people stuff and a tummy full of churros - we loaded ourselves and carmel corn from the popcorn cottage into my car and were on our way to St. George by 10:45 a.m. We got there at about 3 o'clock - I think we made rather good time! When we were walking out to the casita to unload our stuff Lucy (having never been at the in-laws before and having never seen a pool before) tried to take a short cut across the lawn and jumped unknowingly right into the deep end of the pool. Within seconds she was doggy paddling across the pool to the other side where Travis pulled her out! It's a good thing she can swim because I didn't want to jump in fully clothed! After that excitement we unpacked our stuff and hung out until the other family got there. That evening we had dinner and watched G.I. Joe before going to bed pretty early! I did get a phone call from my brother around 9:10 p.m. saying that little Conner Jason had been born just then, I even heard him cry! He's a hefty baby of 9 lbs and 20 1/2 in. Brian said he would send me a picture! Yay for being an Aunt again!

Saturday: When we woke up this morning we were going to take it easy since it was Thanksgiving again. However, everyone else had other plans. Annette, Sara, and myself went to a craft fair (I only spent $12.00!!!) and then to Kohls to do some shopping while the kids swam. By the time we got home I was ready to swim as well and hopped in with everyone else. Travis spent about 5 hours in the pool and I was in there for probably 2 1/2. It was nice and relaxing. We tried to get the dogs in the pool, but they were NOT getting close to the water. I guess they knew! :) After we swam we got all ready again for Thanksgiving dinner followed by Four Christmases. Again, Travis and I had a pretty early night.

Sunday: Travis and I woke up, got ready, packed up, had breakfast, rolled up the pool cover and drove home! We were out of there by 10:45 ish again and drove the LONG drive home. Of course, we took a short cut and stopped in Springville to see baby Conner. What a darling little boy! He has such chubby cheeks and knees... such a cutie pie! The poor little guy is all bruised from the forceps and such, but I guess that's just how it goes right?! Austin didn't seem to care about the baby while we were there even though he had only met him just before we got there! After holding my precious nephew we went back home the rest of the way, unpacked, and just lazed around until bedtime.

Sadly, we had a really uneventful Thanksgiving - although there was some unspoken drama and anger at Thanksgiving on Saturday - it was quite a long weekend. Travis and I didn't have time to just hang out, clean the house, and do our regular weekend routine things... So, when we had to wake up for work yesterday - it was really difficult to get out of bed!!! I'm hoping that soon enough we will have our own family and can create our own traditions for holidays rather than have to fit everyone elses plans.... We will see won't we!!!