I have become a complete stress case! Who knew that Girls Camp Preparation would be so overwhelming! Oh, but it is! Luckily I'm only an assistant camp director because if I were in charge - we'd be in deep trouble.
I think I had some misconceptions as to what it would be like as a camp director. I thought I would be in charge of the fun stuff, or the crafty stuff... Not food! If you know me at all - you know cooking is not my strong suit! And cooking for 30 people every day - definitely NOT my strong suit. But even still - I'm in charge of food. That's a HUGE assignment. I get anxiety when I start thinking about it. We go to camp in 10 days and I'm freaking out!
I had to price food last week to determine what we would eat and how much it would all cost. I seriously thought I was going to have a panic attack right in the middle of the grocery store! It was intense! But I had to go cheap on everything because the young womens president is quite the money nazi! Really! She wants me to feed 30 girls on $300.00 for the week - not likely!!! In any case - I'm cutting corners, going cheap, and paying for stuff myself to keep the damage at a minimum... It's frustrating!
So here I am, a week away from buying all the groceries and putting them in their respective coolers after I have sorted, chopped, diced, sliced, and cooked most of the stuff so the cooking will be at a minimum at camp... I hope I can pull this off. Otherwise I'll be one unhappy crazy lady at camp! I did buy myself a rather sweet apron that says Born to Shop - Forced to Cook. Partly as a joke - but also in all seriousness!!!
Other than the food part camp should be a great time. I'm in charge of the devotionals every day at breakfast and dinner, and the craft projects which will be super fun! I have to admit I am kind of excited. I tend to go a little overboard on the craft stuff. But better to be super prepared than not at all, cause who knows - we could be cabin bound with all the snow and rain. The men in the stake are going up next Saturday to dig us in and clean out the cabins and biffy's. Good times.
You know what makes me frustrated- when the boys tell us we aren't really camping cause we have cabins. You know what? Cabins are necessary because THERE ARE BEARS!!! Yes, we've had them join our testimony meetings on a rare occasion and since there is so much snow I'm not taking any chances. The cabins don't have electricity or running water. Now, tell me how we are not camping - and yet they are camping by going to Lake Powell and staying on a House Boat??? Make sense? NO!
Enough of my rants - Camp will be fun (repeat it with me) Camp will be fun, camp will be fun... I'm optomistic.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Better to lose a love than to love a loser!
Okay, maybe that's a little harsh right?! D is no loser - just an idiot!
We didn't end up meeting yesterday because it just didn't happen. Instead we met for lunch today. So I've been throwing out good thoughts to the universe hoping for some good in return of course! I met him and we had a nice little lunch and talked about superficial things. How's his family, how's mine? How is he, how am I. Stuff like that. We got out to the cars and I gave him the old license plates and he gave me a side hug - yes a side hug and said he'd see me later. I stopped him and said, "You know, my feelings for you have never changed - I still really like you. And it's apparent to me that you don't feel the same way which is fine, because maybe we aren't in the same place in life right now. It just sucks because I've been waiting for 8 months for you to decide you were going to call me and try again. But it hasn't happened and I'm not waiting around anymore because I deserve to be loved the way that I would have loved you." And then I got in my car and left. Crying of course.
So within minutes he had sent me a text saying "Geeze you seemed pissed. I never expected you to wait around for me. I'm sorry that was not clear." I told him I wasn't pissed at all, just more hurt than anything because when he said he wanted to try again, I believed him. Maybe I was just naive - but I wasn't pissed, I just didn't want him to see me cry. So he texted me back and said he was sorry and all I said was "You should be. You have no idea what you're missing out on."
Call me crazy - but I was so proud of myself! He should be sorry because damnit I'm a cool girl and a kick ass girlfriend! Not only that but I deserve better than that. I deserve to be treated well and adored. I deserve someone who wants to see me all the time and instead of being a coward and texting me an apology - someone who would actually call me at least. What do you expect from someone who breaks up with you over text right?! I should have known!
So the funny part is that I get back to my office and I'm crying to two of my friends telling them how bad I hate him - but still L him in the same sentance and my heart is broken and maybe his body language was telling me something, when I get a text with my horoscope for the day. Now, I'm normally not a believer - and to be quite honest I don't know how I ended up having my horoscope texted to me every day - but it says "Analyzing won't make things any clearer. The day is fuzzy." I'm a believer now! Maybe not a believer - but that was pretty weird.
I'll survive - don't you worry! It still hurts and probably will until I have a really good "girls night" or something. Good thing tomorrow I'm going for a Pedi. I need it! And now I am officially on a dating hiatus!
We didn't end up meeting yesterday because it just didn't happen. Instead we met for lunch today. So I've been throwing out good thoughts to the universe hoping for some good in return of course! I met him and we had a nice little lunch and talked about superficial things. How's his family, how's mine? How is he, how am I. Stuff like that. We got out to the cars and I gave him the old license plates and he gave me a side hug - yes a side hug and said he'd see me later. I stopped him and said, "You know, my feelings for you have never changed - I still really like you. And it's apparent to me that you don't feel the same way which is fine, because maybe we aren't in the same place in life right now. It just sucks because I've been waiting for 8 months for you to decide you were going to call me and try again. But it hasn't happened and I'm not waiting around anymore because I deserve to be loved the way that I would have loved you." And then I got in my car and left. Crying of course.
So within minutes he had sent me a text saying "Geeze you seemed pissed. I never expected you to wait around for me. I'm sorry that was not clear." I told him I wasn't pissed at all, just more hurt than anything because when he said he wanted to try again, I believed him. Maybe I was just naive - but I wasn't pissed, I just didn't want him to see me cry. So he texted me back and said he was sorry and all I said was "You should be. You have no idea what you're missing out on."
Call me crazy - but I was so proud of myself! He should be sorry because damnit I'm a cool girl and a kick ass girlfriend! Not only that but I deserve better than that. I deserve to be treated well and adored. I deserve someone who wants to see me all the time and instead of being a coward and texting me an apology - someone who would actually call me at least. What do you expect from someone who breaks up with you over text right?! I should have known!
So the funny part is that I get back to my office and I'm crying to two of my friends telling them how bad I hate him - but still L him in the same sentance and my heart is broken and maybe his body language was telling me something, when I get a text with my horoscope for the day. Now, I'm normally not a believer - and to be quite honest I don't know how I ended up having my horoscope texted to me every day - but it says "Analyzing won't make things any clearer. The day is fuzzy." I'm a believer now! Maybe not a believer - but that was pretty weird.
I'll survive - don't you worry! It still hurts and probably will until I have a really good "girls night" or something. Good thing tomorrow I'm going for a Pedi. I need it! And now I am officially on a dating hiatus!
Monday, May 12, 2008
You were brave then... be brave now!
Yes I know - it's been a month and a half since I blogged - I've been busy so get off my case! Really I have been super busy and I will catch up with my blogness as soon as I can find the time. Right now I can't really sleep so I'm blogging away in my bed (Thank goodness for laptops)!
I am going to be brave tomorrow... very brave. The plan is to express my feelings and put my foot down at the same time. Cause I'm done! With what you may ask? Actually, if you know me well enough you know it's about D. I've decided I'm done waiting around. Not that I was actually waiting - but I kind of am in a sick way.
The plan is that tomorrow I'm giving him his old plates and he's giving me a spare to the car and then I'm going to tell him like it is. That I have feelings for him still - the feelings haven't changed. The thing is, it's been 8 months now (gosh I'm pathetic) and I haven't pushed or shoved or even made mention of the fact that HE said he wanted to try again. Even after further clarification (I'm not stupid - I know what try again means) - and he insisted he did want to try again.... still nothing. And I'm done waiting. I deserve to be loved by someone who will love me the way that I would have loved him. Is that so much to ask for? I don't think so. So that's it. I'm not waiting around - I'm officially moving onward and upward.
I'm not gonna lie though - it will hurt like hell! Anything involving feelings and the inevitibility that they will be hurt sucks but what other choice do I have. I was going to wait until I graduate next year (cause really, with my schedule who even has time to date) - but a friend of mine pointed out that next year is a year away, and a lot can change in that time. Who knows who I could meet and pass up because I'm waiting for one guy to pull his head out and realize that I'm a kick ass girlfriend and that his feelings for me are more than just lust (don't get me started on that one!). I just don't have the time or energy to wait around for that. Nor, do I deserve that!
So this is it. I'm being brave even though afterward I'm certain I will cry. Pray for me!
I am going to be brave tomorrow... very brave. The plan is to express my feelings and put my foot down at the same time. Cause I'm done! With what you may ask? Actually, if you know me well enough you know it's about D. I've decided I'm done waiting around. Not that I was actually waiting - but I kind of am in a sick way.
The plan is that tomorrow I'm giving him his old plates and he's giving me a spare to the car and then I'm going to tell him like it is. That I have feelings for him still - the feelings haven't changed. The thing is, it's been 8 months now (gosh I'm pathetic) and I haven't pushed or shoved or even made mention of the fact that HE said he wanted to try again. Even after further clarification (I'm not stupid - I know what try again means) - and he insisted he did want to try again.... still nothing. And I'm done waiting. I deserve to be loved by someone who will love me the way that I would have loved him. Is that so much to ask for? I don't think so. So that's it. I'm not waiting around - I'm officially moving onward and upward.
I'm not gonna lie though - it will hurt like hell! Anything involving feelings and the inevitibility that they will be hurt sucks but what other choice do I have. I was going to wait until I graduate next year (cause really, with my schedule who even has time to date) - but a friend of mine pointed out that next year is a year away, and a lot can change in that time. Who knows who I could meet and pass up because I'm waiting for one guy to pull his head out and realize that I'm a kick ass girlfriend and that his feelings for me are more than just lust (don't get me started on that one!). I just don't have the time or energy to wait around for that. Nor, do I deserve that!
So this is it. I'm being brave even though afterward I'm certain I will cry. Pray for me!
Friday, March 21, 2008
One Dope Ride
I have so much today and yet nothing to say at the same time. I bought a car today - a Honda Accord. I bought it from a good friend and it's super nice! Thanks for the car D. Yes, you read that right - I bought D's car. Random right?! It is - and to be honest, some people think it's weird. I don't though. I have been in it before - like it - it's a good car - plus I know D and how well he takes care of it! So I didn't have any reservations about buying it from him.
So I went and picked it up today and was about to have an anxiety attack - not because I was getting a loan to buy a car - but because I haven't seen him since we parted ways (September 11th to be exact). Actually, that's not 100% true - I saw him randomly at the mall sometime around christmas ish. We talked for 30 seconds maybe and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack! I still might! No - it was good I guess. I don't really know how to act around him so I was kind of rude - interesting how that always happens. I don't know what to do so I revert to what I do best - Bitchy! Anyway - It was a good transaction - and I was so nervous and had butterflies. Just seeing him makes me twitterpated again! It sucks! I mean, he likes me still he said - but that doesn't really mean anything right?! I shouldn't analyze it - I should just let it be right?! Right! I can't help it - when you learn to analyze crap that's what you do! I knew school would ruin me!!!!
In any case - I got a car... I'll listen to De La Vega when I pick it up - One Dope Ride.
So I went and picked it up today and was about to have an anxiety attack - not because I was getting a loan to buy a car - but because I haven't seen him since we parted ways (September 11th to be exact). Actually, that's not 100% true - I saw him randomly at the mall sometime around christmas ish. We talked for 30 seconds maybe and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack! I still might! No - it was good I guess. I don't really know how to act around him so I was kind of rude - interesting how that always happens. I don't know what to do so I revert to what I do best - Bitchy! Anyway - It was a good transaction - and I was so nervous and had butterflies. Just seeing him makes me twitterpated again! It sucks! I mean, he likes me still he said - but that doesn't really mean anything right?! I shouldn't analyze it - I should just let it be right?! Right! I can't help it - when you learn to analyze crap that's what you do! I knew school would ruin me!!!!
In any case - I got a car... I'll listen to De La Vega when I pick it up - One Dope Ride.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Pretty Toes!
My little brothers band won 4th place at State Battle of the Bands on Saturday night. Good for them! They're so stinking cute - and talented of course! As official band scrapbooker - when I finally get the book together - I'll have to make 4 copies - one for each boy - cause I'm keeping the original of course! You can find them on myspace - their name is Cobet. Cute Cute boys - and not too shabby music wise! Check 'em out!
Ready for school to be done! That is how I feel today. But to make myself feel better - I've gotten a pedicure! It sure does make me feel better! I have pretty toes now. I love having pretty toes. There's something about a pedicure and a new hairdo that makes ya feel all confident and happy inside! Yay for me!
D texted me again today. Now, this is a confession I will make once and only once (for now at least). Still like the boy - a lot! As we chatted - I found out - the boy still likes me. Feelings about that? Happy - Nervous - Frustrated - Excited - and Really? Now what?! So - that's that.
Nothing too exciting for now - I'll write more later this week or next! Woot Woot!
Ready for school to be done! That is how I feel today. But to make myself feel better - I've gotten a pedicure! It sure does make me feel better! I have pretty toes now. I love having pretty toes. There's something about a pedicure and a new hairdo that makes ya feel all confident and happy inside! Yay for me!
D texted me again today. Now, this is a confession I will make once and only once (for now at least). Still like the boy - a lot! As we chatted - I found out - the boy still likes me. Feelings about that? Happy - Nervous - Frustrated - Excited - and Really? Now what?! So - that's that.
Nothing too exciting for now - I'll write more later this week or next! Woot Woot!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Tidbits - like Pineapple
I don't have much to say about one thing in particular - so I'll just blab about a couple of random things.
1. I saw a camel on the freeway on Thursday. NO JOKE! It was in a horse trailer. My first thought - Is that a camel? Second - Is that a camel in a horse trailer? Now, mind you it's not every day I see a camel - I know in Salt Lake City right?! But I wondered if the circus was in town or if it was going to the zoo but thought it would be a better publicized Camel trasporter - instead of a horse trailer. A camel... I know!
2. I hate Dutch Oven cooking! Yes, hate it! This is sad because I'll be the girls camp cook in June - but really! I don't like having unpredictible cooking times. I want to know when I can expect to eat, and I expect to eat at that time! I don't want the wind and weather to determine if I have to wait another half hour to eat! Seriously! Dutch oven cooking is stupid!
3. I am pretty sure I will be having a nervous breakdown at one of two times either April 24th, or May 3rd. Either would be good days for me. Day after the last day of class, or the day after my mom's graduation. Either would be fine I guess - I just don't have time before then - so let's put good Karma out for my nervous breakdown to wait until one of those two days!
4. I worked on Saturday. It wasn't very fun! However, I did find a new love! It's called Pandora! It's an MSN music thing. You type in an artist or song you like - and they create a huge playlist with similar types of music! LOVE IT! It's way better than the iTunes thing that tells you what else you might like based on what you have, because really, I like KORN, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to it all the time! This is a perfect "pick your music mood" station! Have I mentioned I love it?
5. I have spent way too much money in the past three weeks - on what you ask? On stuff. I spent $300.00 on a purse and wallet (COACH - be jealous). I spent almost $400.00 on scrapbooking stuff too. Why? I'm not really sure! I needed some retail therapy clearly - but I may have gone overboard! No more spending! Say it with me "I don't need to buy more stuff"
Well, I guess that's it for now. If anything else happens I'll let you know! But my life isn't very exciting... tidbits of info... that's all!
1. I saw a camel on the freeway on Thursday. NO JOKE! It was in a horse trailer. My first thought - Is that a camel? Second - Is that a camel in a horse trailer? Now, mind you it's not every day I see a camel - I know in Salt Lake City right?! But I wondered if the circus was in town or if it was going to the zoo but thought it would be a better publicized Camel trasporter - instead of a horse trailer. A camel... I know!
2. I hate Dutch Oven cooking! Yes, hate it! This is sad because I'll be the girls camp cook in June - but really! I don't like having unpredictible cooking times. I want to know when I can expect to eat, and I expect to eat at that time! I don't want the wind and weather to determine if I have to wait another half hour to eat! Seriously! Dutch oven cooking is stupid!
3. I am pretty sure I will be having a nervous breakdown at one of two times either April 24th, or May 3rd. Either would be good days for me. Day after the last day of class, or the day after my mom's graduation. Either would be fine I guess - I just don't have time before then - so let's put good Karma out for my nervous breakdown to wait until one of those two days!
4. I worked on Saturday. It wasn't very fun! However, I did find a new love! It's called Pandora! It's an MSN music thing. You type in an artist or song you like - and they create a huge playlist with similar types of music! LOVE IT! It's way better than the iTunes thing that tells you what else you might like based on what you have, because really, I like KORN, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to it all the time! This is a perfect "pick your music mood" station! Have I mentioned I love it?
5. I have spent way too much money in the past three weeks - on what you ask? On stuff. I spent $300.00 on a purse and wallet (COACH - be jealous). I spent almost $400.00 on scrapbooking stuff too. Why? I'm not really sure! I needed some retail therapy clearly - but I may have gone overboard! No more spending! Say it with me "I don't need to buy more stuff"
Well, I guess that's it for now. If anything else happens I'll let you know! But my life isn't very exciting... tidbits of info... that's all!
Monday, March 3, 2008
It doesn't make sense - I know!
So things are crazy and hectic and I kind of like it! I'm nearing spring break which means I haven't turned in many assignments and will hate myself because I'll have a TON to do over spring break- whatever! I still need to decide what to do this summer. Work only? Work and School? Quit everything? Okay that last one isn't really an option! Any suggestions can help!
This week I had my first Girls Camp Planning Meeting and guess what my big assignment is - guess - Yup - Camp Cook! Do they know who they're talking to? Seriously! I'm not a cook! I wonder how far Pizza Hut delivers?! Really it will be fun - I'm really excited about it! It's going to be a fun week - and I'm getting some dutch oven cooking lessons from a friend this weekend - should be a good time. In reality I think he's only doing it because he thinks I'll like him if I spend more time with him (he's said it before) but seriously- I just need the help and he knows what he's doing. What do you expect right?!
Randomly D texted me this morning - out of the blue right?! It was nice to chat but in all honesty I don't have any idea why he did. It's not like we're friends - I mean, friends spend time together right?! Apparently he forgot that part of the friend contract. The friend I haven't seen for a month- has now been longer. I want to hang out - I hate fighting - I don't feel like we're fighting though - I just feel like nothing is happening. I don't know what else to say. She apparently read my blog and said she didn't lie cause she worked til 5. Sorry my bad, I said 3 not 5. But the show started at 7... I don't even care - if you don't want to hang out then don't - I'm okay with that. I shouldn't be annoyed. I'm over it really.
Melissa and I went shopping this weekend $600.00 (that's only what I spent) later we came home! It was a fun day! I love spending time with Moosie - and we have to get it all in cause it won't happen for the next 18 months. It will be good for her to go on a mission - she'll love it! She got a bunch of mission clothes and I bought a bunch of stuff I don't need but want.... What is my problem!? I did need some retail therapy - who knew it would come in the form of a $300.00 purse and wallet?! Crazy I know - but i LOVE it! It was worth it! It's so pretty! Seriously! Will I buy another one like it? Not until the Fall maybe... we'll see! It's so nice!
Other than that - nothing exciting is happening really! I'm going on a cruise in June - so that will be fun! Gotta invite a friend to come so I can do fun stuff! Yay for vacations! Goodness knows I need one! Maybe I'll get another tattoo... I'm feeling a little wreckless today....
This week I had my first Girls Camp Planning Meeting and guess what my big assignment is - guess - Yup - Camp Cook! Do they know who they're talking to? Seriously! I'm not a cook! I wonder how far Pizza Hut delivers?! Really it will be fun - I'm really excited about it! It's going to be a fun week - and I'm getting some dutch oven cooking lessons from a friend this weekend - should be a good time. In reality I think he's only doing it because he thinks I'll like him if I spend more time with him (he's said it before) but seriously- I just need the help and he knows what he's doing. What do you expect right?!
Randomly D texted me this morning - out of the blue right?! It was nice to chat but in all honesty I don't have any idea why he did. It's not like we're friends - I mean, friends spend time together right?! Apparently he forgot that part of the friend contract. The friend I haven't seen for a month- has now been longer. I want to hang out - I hate fighting - I don't feel like we're fighting though - I just feel like nothing is happening. I don't know what else to say. She apparently read my blog and said she didn't lie cause she worked til 5. Sorry my bad, I said 3 not 5. But the show started at 7... I don't even care - if you don't want to hang out then don't - I'm okay with that. I shouldn't be annoyed. I'm over it really.
Melissa and I went shopping this weekend $600.00 (that's only what I spent) later we came home! It was a fun day! I love spending time with Moosie - and we have to get it all in cause it won't happen for the next 18 months. It will be good for her to go on a mission - she'll love it! She got a bunch of mission clothes and I bought a bunch of stuff I don't need but want.... What is my problem!? I did need some retail therapy - who knew it would come in the form of a $300.00 purse and wallet?! Crazy I know - but i LOVE it! It was worth it! It's so pretty! Seriously! Will I buy another one like it? Not until the Fall maybe... we'll see! It's so nice!
Other than that - nothing exciting is happening really! I'm going on a cruise in June - so that will be fun! Gotta invite a friend to come so I can do fun stuff! Yay for vacations! Goodness knows I need one! Maybe I'll get another tattoo... I'm feeling a little wreckless today....
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