September 13, 2012

I had another appointment today to see how things were progressing. I figured since they had more than doubled my Bravelle injections, that I would be right on track, or maybe a little early (I am secretly hoping for a Tuesday retrieval).  I got to the office and was sent right in for an ultrasound before the bloodwork.

Dr. Heiner and another nurse came in and did the ultra sound. Dr. Heiner told me that my endometrial lining had doubled which was a good sign. But that my ovaries were not responding as quickly as they had hoped. He asked how I was taking the Bravelle, and I told him injections through the belly. He told me that because of my “elevated BMI” (a nice way of calling me fat – as if I didn’t know), we may want to make the injections intramuscular. He gave me some additional vitamins to take and sent me to the nurse. I met with Katie (who has been great in answering all of my questions and returning all of my neurotic phone calls) who gave me some new needles for the IM shots – and armed with a giant black sharpie marker, circled the spots on my behind/hip, where my poor husband will begin giving me injections tonight. I emailed him the good news – he is definitely not excited!

I also had my blood drawn, but won’t receive a phone call unless the meds are changed. Katie also ordered 40 more vials of Bravelle.  You know, at $50 a pop – these meds are really expensive!  I’m injecting over $500 worth of drugs into my body every single day! But it will be worth it!

I also was informed, that the man who would typically be doing the biopsy for PGD for us, may be out of town when the biopsy should be done. If that is the case, I will need to pay an additional $500 - $1000 to pay for someone from Genesis Genetics (in Michigan) to come out and do the biopsy for us. That is in addition to the $3,000 we will be paying for the PGD testing. It’s just money, right?

My next appointment isn’t until Sunday morning, so that will be nice. We are spending the weekend in Park City for my work – it will be nice to relax, but I’d almost rather be at home in bed.  Up until this morning, I haven’t really felt hormonal. But today, I just want to cry. I don’t know if it’s because it’s costing us WAY more than we had thought, or because things are progressing slower than expected, or because I have so many hormones surging through my body that I don’t really know how to handle it other than to cry.  It’s killing me to keep it from our families – I feel like the emotional support would be so fantastic!  However, at the same time, I don’t want the millions of questions this would invite. We have a couple of people who knows – Travis’ business partner, my boss and a friend… I need some support and since I’m missing so much work – somebody at work had to know. I hope Travis is getting the support he needs. He is so hard to read, and he is so strong – I doubt he even feels the need to unload everything he is feeling. I, on the other hand, am a mess today. I may sneak out early… crap… I can’t… I have a meeting I’m covering for my boss at 4:30… Maybe I will just lock myself in my office and have a good cry.  Maybe that will make me feel better.